The Biggest Writing Group Fail: Looking for Approval

You don't need approval from your writing group.

Let's say you've written your chapter and submitted your draft to your critique group, and tonight you will meet with your writing buddies, and hear their feedback.

What goes through your mind at this moment?

Sometimes writers feel excitement and hope, and other times, doubt. (I feel vaguely sick.) But the biggest problem is when writers feel the need to gain approval from their peers before taking any next steps with their work.

Only you can approve your work. No one else can.

My Writing Group Feedback Experience

Here's my story: I was discovery writing (a.k.a. pantsing) a mystery with a writing group that exchanged works-in-progress. Each week, I'd get critiques and applied the feedback, then I returned the following week with the same chapter. Guess what? I'd get more feedback.

I felt like I was on a hamster wheel, going around and around and around with this chapter! And I never got it 'right'. Worse, I couldn't move on. I thought I had to have permission from the other writers in the group to move to the next part of my story.

I didn't know it then, but that was never going to happen. Unfortunately, I soon abandoned the story and the group.

What This Means For You and Your Writing Group

All this to say, approval from others isn't necessary. Feedback is simply a helpful tool in your creative process.

When you get feedback, you might learn something about how your work lands on a reader, but you're not obliged to apply the comments. Personally, I think it's a good idea to listen and see if anything feels useful, but again it's not mandatory. Toss away what doesn't help you. Writing feedback is simply data for you to consider. It's not a checklist that you have to complete before you move on.

Your writing is about your own creative vision, regardless of what others think.

Have you ever sought approval from your writing buddies? Did you feel stuck? Let me know in the comments!