A friend of mine joined a critique circle for the first time earlier this year. 😐 She confessed she was pretty nervous at the prospect of getting feedback on her work. I understood, because I remembered when I started sharing my manuscripts with other writers. It wasn't easy! And I felt very emotional about the process. (Truth is, I still feel emotional!)
Anyway, this got me thinking about some tips to help put yourself in the right frame of mind when other writers comment on your work:
Focus on learning and growth. Remind yourself that this is your chance to learn something new. When we approach feedback as an opportunity to improve our skills and capabilities, rather than seek approval, we can better absorb constructive criticism.
Separate yourself from your work. Remember that feedback on a sample of your work is just that—a few comments on an excerpt from a work-in-progress at a particular time. This is not personal validation of your chosen role as a writer. So, work to stay objective by distancing yourself emotionally from your material.
Listen first, process later. Take in any feedback, and pause. Give yourself time to digest the comments and then decide what to use or discard. (You don't have to agree with everything.) Without giving yourself some room and time to process, your initial defensive reactions can prevent you from seeing valuable insights.
Look for patterns in feedback to gain insight. If multiple readers point to similar strengths, that's great information, because you'll know what you do well. On the other hand, if multiple readers identify similar issues, even if they describe them differently, this often signals an area worth examining. (Note: I didn't say you have to do what they tell you. It's simply something that you probably want to look at and then you'll decide how the comments apply, if at all.)
I have more tips in my ebook, The Write Group, available instantly through digital book retailers. In addition, I'm working on a nonfiction book that drills down on exchanging feedback, which I'm targeting to come out later this year. You may have read about it in my monthly update. Stay tuned for more information later this year!
Are you in a critique circle? How do you handle feedback? Share your tips in the comments!
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