How my writing group helped me with my fear-of-feedback feeling

That's me! J.H. Jones, author of The Write Group and soon-to-be-released Draft to Craft

Today, I wanted to share with you a brief personal story that's also part of my soon-to-be-released ebook, From Draft to Craft: A New Writer's Guide to Feedback. (Sign up for alerts!) And the purpose of the post is to help you understand your impact on your other writing group buddies.

The gist of the story is I was in a critique circle working on a book and intellectually understood the value of getting feedback on my work-in-progress. Thing is my heart wasn't in it. I was a beginner writer and knew I wasn't up to level of the other writers. As I imagined the comments the others would give, I became paralyzed with fear.

On this particular day, I was deep in a Big Yikes moment, preparing my email with my draft attached (we exchanged manuscripts via email). Frozen in terror, I was unable to hit the send button and wanted to pack the whole writing thing in.

Serendipitously, one of the group members sent me an email at that instant. She said my critique of her latest work had been clear and helpful and that I picked up on things no one else had.

What a rush! In an instant, I went from cringing to courageous, because I took her message to mean I had developed my reviewing skills and expressed my comments clearly. Better reviewing skills were positive developments and I was certain those improvements would also show up in my creative writing.

I clicked the send button.

That’s when I had an ‘aha moment’ about the power of our writing group buddies. A writing group buddy's appreciative message gave me a big boost and helped me become emotionally ready to ask for and listen to feedback myself. She didn't intend to help me in that way, but that's what happened. Even now, years later, I'm so grateful to her. She made a difference to my writing growth.

All this to say, if you're in a critique circle, take a quick scan of your comments and messages. Before you hit the send button, consider that your writing buddy might need to hear something positive and you are in the position to help them.

Have you ever heard a comment that inspired you? Let me know!