Let's say you're part of a critique circle, and you bring work to the group to get feedback. Before anyone reads the material, however, the first words out of your mouth are reasons for your writing buddies to diss your script. You say, "It's not very good" or "You won't like this" or even, "Sorry."
Sound familiar? If so, you just brought your Cringe Self to your critique group.
Your Cringe Self is your way of anticipating potential rejection or criticism. You give into your internal fears, and put words into people's mouths to stave off any comments that you imagine might make you unhappy. You invalidate your own work and hurt your own feelings before what you're afraid of happens, as in, negative criticism.
Unfortunately, when you do that, you set people up to expect something that's less than your best. And their comments on your work will reflect that expectation. In other words, while you're trying to prevent negative criticism, you bring about your own worst fear.
Not a good place to be.
Instead, be clear with your Cringe Self: It's not welcome to your critique group. Tell it to stay at home, or go anywhere else you'd like (try the trash?), but don't invite it to your group.
What you share is your work in progress, and so does everybody else in your group. There's no reason to apologize for something that writers are in the middle of developing. Because a work in progress is just that—writers share material at a moment in time, which, likely, they will change and adjust before finishing.
Sharing your work in progress lets others give feedback that is relevant and useful. It also helps you listen to the feedback and better understand what's working or what isn't so that you can make your writing even better.
If you're in a group today, is your Cringe Self sitting next to you? How do you handle it?
Comments